holy crap, it has been forever since i've updated 'the land of jordan'. my bad! but here we are again, feeling witty and ready to share. are you ready to listen?
THERE IS MUCH TO CATCH YOU ALL UP ON....jordan is now 4! can you believe this? i am the mother of a 4 year old!?!? A very funny, clever little 4 year old.
so, rather than ramble on and on and lose your interest I will give you a few 'sound bites' (w/out the sound) from jordan over the past few months. hope you enjoy:
- -“MOM! I FIGURED IT OUT! WE CAN TAKE THE HOSE AND PUT THE WATER ALL OVER THE DRIVEWAY, AND THEN SLEEP FOR A REALLY GOOD LONG TIME, AND WHEN WE WAKE UP THERE WILL BE AN ICE RINK AND WE CAN ICE SKATE RIGHT HERE!”
- -“GEORGE IS SLEEPING ‘SOFTLY’ MOM.....” (INSTEAD OF SOUNDLY)
- -“MOM? WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? MIMA IS ALREADY ‘GROWED’ UP, BUT NOT YOU. SO YOU HAVE TO BE SOMETHING WHEN YOU GROW UP, LIKE YOU HAVE TO BE EITHER A DENTIST OR A DOCTOR. OKAY MOM?” SHE WOULD NOT ACCEPT MY “I’M NEVER GROWING UP” ANSWER.
- -WHILE PLAYING A MEMORY GAME W/ME AND SHE FOUND THE MATCHING CARD I ASKED HER HOW SHE KNEW THE MATCHING CARD WAS THERE: “I LOOKED INSIDE MY BRAIN AND I FOUND THE MATCHING CARD!”
- -AFTER A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP: “I AM UN-TIRED NOW MOM.”
- -SHE USES THIS LINE A LOT WHEN WE HAVE DISCUSSIONS: “I WAS THINKING ABOUT THAT IN MY BED TODAY MOM, REALLY, I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT THE WHOLE TIME I WAS IN MY BED.”
- -HER HANDS WERE COLD THE OTHER DAY: “MY HANDS HAVE BRAIN FREEZE!”
- -“MOM! WHEN I GET BIG YOU CAN’T CALL ME ‘PEANUT’ OR ‘JO-JO’ ANYMORE B/C I AM GOING TO JUST BE ‘JORDAN’ MOM, AND ISN’T THAT AWESOME?”
- -UPON SEEING A FULL MOON: “THE MOON FOUND ALL IT’S PIECES!!!!!”
- -OH, I FORGOT ABOUT THIS ONE, THIS HAPPENED RIGHT AFTER HALLOWEEN. I WAS EXPLAINING TO JORDAN THAT ONE REASON WE PROBABLY DON’T GET A LOT OF TRICK-OR-TREATERS IS B/C WE LIVE ON A DEAD END STREET. THE NEXT DAY SHE WANTS TO DISCUSS IT AGAIN: “MOM, WE DIDN’T GET A LOT OF TRICK-OR-TREATERS B/C WE LIVE IN A DEAD PLACE, RIGHT MOM?”
- -WAS USING HER FINGERS TO COUNT SOMETHING ONE DAY AND EXCLAIMED: “I DON’T HAVE ANY MORE FINGERS SO I CAN’T COUNT ANY MORE.”
- -HEARD AN ‘ANNIE LENNOX’ SONG ON THE RADIO AWHILE AGO, SHE LIKED IT AND DECIDED SHE’D REFERENCE IT TO ME A FEW DAYS LATER: “CAN YOU PLEASE PLAY THAT ‘ANNIE LETTUCE’ SONG FOR ME?” TOOK ME QUITE SOME TIME TO FIGURE OUT WHAT SHE MEANT, BUT I EVENTUALLY GOT IT!
- -ONE NIGHT WE WERE DEVOURING PIZZA AND I MUST HAVE BEEN EATING PRETTY FAST B/C SHE STOPS EATING AND SAYS: “MOM! YOU HAVE TO CALM DOWN W/THE PIZZA AND SAVE SOME!”
- -“MOM? WHEN I LAUGH REALLY HARD I GET EYE TEARS”
- -IF JORDAN WANTS ME TO MAKE UP A STORY RATHER THAN READ HER ONE SHE SAYS, “CAN YOU TELL ME A STORY FROM YOUR MOUTH, NOT FROM A BOOK?”
- -“I’M GETTING SO MUCH BIGGER, I’M ALMOST A MOMMY TOO!”
- -WE ARE TRYING TO TEACH JORDAN TO ASK, “CAN I BE EXCUSED” WHEN SHE’S DONE EATING. SHE’S DOING PRETTY GOOD W/THE WHOLE THING, ONLY IT COMES OUT: “CAN I BE CONFUSED?”
- -WHAT I’M ABOUT TO WRITE ISN’T SOMETHING THAT JORDAN SAID, IT’S SOMETHING THAT JORDAN DID. I SHOULD LET YOU ALL KNOW (MOST OF YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS) THAT I DO NOT COOK, DON’T WANT TO, DON’T CARE TO, NO INTEREST, ZERO, NADA! LITERALLY THE ONLY THING I CAN DO IS TOAST, TEA AND WARM SHIT UP. JORDAN ON THE OTHER HAND IS CONSTANTLY ‘COOKING’ W/MIMA WHICH IS SUPER GREAT AND REALLY CUTE. AND OF COURSE MIMA IS CONSTANTLY COOKING. SO, MIMA WAS AWAY ON BUSINESS AND JORDAN DECIDES SHE WANTS SCRAMBLED EGGS FOR BREAKFAST. I OF COURSE ATTEMPT TO SWAY HER TOWARDS WAFFLES (FROZEN OF COURSE) WHICH DOES NOT WORK. THE KID WANTS SCRAMBLED EGGS AND THAT’S THAT! I’M A TINY BIT PANICKED B/C YES, AS SAD AS IT IS TO ADMIT, I HAVE NO CLUE HOW TO MAKE SCRAMBLED EGGS. SO AGAIN I TRY AND PERSUADE MY CHILD TO THE FROZEN BREAKFAST OPTIONS AND AGAIN SHE INSISTS ON SCRAMBLED EGGS. AND HERE’S WHERE MOMMY GETS HER HONEST ON: “JO-JO, I KNOW YOU’RE GONNA FIND THIS HARD TO BELIEVE BUT MOMMY DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE SCRAMBLED EGGS......” I WAS TOTALLY EXPECTING HER TO MELT DOWN DEMANDING THE DAMN EGGS. INSTEAD THIS IS WHAT I GOT: “THAT’S OKAY MOM B/C I KNOW HOW TO MAKE SCRAMBLED EGGS AND I WILL TEACH YOU! YOU HAVE TO GET THE EGGS & BUTTER MOM. BUT I GET TO CRACK THE EGGS OKAY?” AND WOULDN’T YOU FRIGGIN KNOW IT? MY KID TAUGHT ME HOW TO MAKE SCRAMBLED EGGS! SHE SAT ON THE COUNTER AND WALKED ME THRU THE WHOLE THING. AND THEN, OH THIS WAS THE BEST PART......WHEN THE EGGS WERE ALL SCRAMBLED AND ON HER PLATE SHE SAYS TO ME: “GOOD JOB MOMMY, I’M VERY PROUD OF YOU!” SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FYI: WE HAVE HAD SCRAMBLED EGGS ABOUT 9,014 TIMES SINCE MY DAUGHTER’S IN-SERVICE! I CAN’T STOP MAKING THEM!!!
Seems like a good note to end on. hope you're all enjoying your winter filled w/snow & ice, school closings, school delayed openings, high heating bills, endless sick germs & maybe a few hot chocolates thrown in there just to make you smile.
