I know the Santa picture looks as if Jordan is enjoying herself but trust me, that smile happened once during a long meltdown period and there is a story behind that.........but first let me say hello and welcome back to The Land of Jordan! Today Jordan turned 3!!! Incredibly hard for me to wrap my head around 3 years zipping by. I love how folks would say to you before you gave birth, "Don't you worry, you won't remember much of the actual birth as time goes on..." Did these people become addicted to crack and that's why they don't remember? Because I remember every single detail of every single second before, during and after Jordan was born. Hence living by the "ONE AND DONE" motto!But this isn't about me is it? It's about Jordan and the amazing 3 year old she has become.
It's about how Jordan answers "sure" when asked a yes or no question.
Or it's about how Jordan answers "sure not" when asked a yes or no question. "Sure not." How funny is that?
It's about how we try to crack each other up and how one day I must have really cracked her up because after she was done laughing she said, "good one Mom!" Now THAT was funny!
It's about "Mom, when I get older" and then she goes on and on about how she's going to draw a bigger picture b/c when you are older you can do that.
It's about "Mom, when YOU get older" and then she goes on and on about how I can go to her school and be in her classroom when I get older.
It's all about the fear she and all her little friends have of: 'THE MAN'....... "The man said you're not allowed to take the clothes off the mannequins!!" Or "The man said you have to stay in your seats!" Or "The man said the mall is closing even though it's only 11am and sunny outside.......the man said!" The ultimate power this 'MAN' has........
Oh and it's also about her, "I just have an idea" moments! Those are hilarious! "I just have an idea Mom. You hide right here. And I go and count. And I find you and you don't say BOO cause I just have an idea I will get scared."
It's also about when I ask her to read a book to me! One time she started 'reading' a book to me and she got to what I imagine was 'the good part' and instead of just telling me what happens next she says, "Mom...wait for it......wait for it......." and then proceeds to tell me! Now THAT was super funny!!!
It's also about how she is expanding her vocabulary to include words I overuse. When asked how her ice cream is she replies, "Totally yummy Mom."
Those are just a few of the awesome (another word I overuse often) things Jordan is doing lately. But let's move on, let's get to the Santa story. Why must there be a story w/Santa? Why can't it just be we had a picture taken w/Santa and all is good? Nope, no such luck.
Yes, I will readily admit I bribed my child to get her picture taken w/Santa. Listen, I knew way ahead of time that the big dude in the red suit was going to be just as scary this year as he was last year. So what's a Jewish mother to do? Bribe! Clearly guilting her into it was not going to work.
Here I am thinking I am so going to win this one! I am way smarter than a 3 year old. There is no way she's going to give me a hard time about this Santa guy. Afterall, we spent nearly 45 minutes beforehand talking about it. The deal was this: she could pick out candy from the candy kiosk and eat some before the Santa picture. And right after the Santa picture she could continue her candy eating b/c she will have done such a great job w/the Santa picture.
So, here we go: candy has been purchased. Jelly beans happened to be the candy of choice. Jelly beans were being consumed as we waited in the Santa picture taking line, all the while still going over and over our 'plan' of attack: go up, don't sit on his lap cause you don't want to, stand next to him, offer him a jelly bean, smile for the picture, and off we go for more cavity eating crap! All good. I am feeling confident, even if the 3 kids who were in front of us screamed their heads off as they were handed to the big dude in the red suit, I was still holding onto our 'plan'!
And we are up! Jelly beans for Santa are in the palm of my hand. Jordan turns the corner and sees Santa. THE CHILD LOSSES HER MIND!!!!!!!!! She crawled up my body and is now screaming crying in my arms, jelly beans are melting in my hand, I'm holding her jacket/the bag of jelly beans/and holding Jordan and now I'm sweating as if I just came out of a sauna! So I plead, I beg, I attempt to place her on Santa's bench, I attempt to place her standing next to Santa. It's as if Jordan dipped her hands in Super Glue and can not remove herself from my body. So now I sit next to Santa w/Jordan clinging to me and not facing the camera. Somehow I am able to distract Jordan w/the melting jelly beans in the palm of my hand that we have for Santa. As I'm distracting her I'm placing her on his lap and backing away from them, all the while I am screaming at the picture taking dude to just snap and don't stop snapping no matter what! And I'm still backing up and Jordan is flipping out crying and Mommy is still backing away.........and here's 'the good part' of the story.....but as Jordan likes to say: "wait for it, wait for it.........."
Mommy backed up into the lighting equipment! Mommy tripped. Mommy dumped jelly beans. Mommy caught lighting equipment as it was nearly crashing down. And what did Jordan do? LAUGHED AND SMILED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And the camera dude who was so rudely instructed by me to keep snapping and don't stop actually caught the one moment where Jordan smiled!
Note to self: next year forget the candy, just wipe out the Santa set up!
Hope you all had an amazing Thanksgiving and hope you all have a fantastic rest of the holiday season!!!
