The Fascination Of Poop

Why do kids find poop to be so interesting?  Is it b/c they witness their parents scrunching up their noses while changing a poopy diaper?  Does that make them interested?  Or is it b/c on occasion we parents have been known to let out a rather loud, "WOAH, OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!" which could peak the interest of a child? 

Can't quite be sure what the reason is but Jordan is not only living in The Land of Jordan, she also resides in the Poop is Fascinating World.  Each time our child poops and we change the poopy diaper Jordan says, "See poop, see poop!"  And of course we (or at least I do this) show her the poop in her diaper.  Sometimes she continues the poop conversation and says, "big poop Mommy" to which I reply, "yes honey, that is a big poop, good job!"  And why is it I reward my child w/poopy praise?  I don't praise her each time she pees.  Yet I find myself telling her how proud I am that she pooped and we high five each other.  What is that all about?  Nobody high fives me when I poop.

And that brings me to the next poopy paragraph.  Jordan's interest in poop doesn't stop w/just her poop.  Nope, she's now showing intense interest in MY poop!  Now, for those of you who know me, really know me, you know that I have what we like to refer to as 'bashful bowels' which basically means:  I can't and won't poop in front of anyone, if anyone is remotely close to the bathroom I can't and won't poop and I won't poop in public places.  Yes, yes, yes, I know I have issues but this isn't about me.  

Of course having a child really changes things in your life, or at least in my life.  Pooping is one of those changes.  I have no issues pooping in front of Jordan.  And she has no issues following me into the bathroom to watch me poop.  Now this is where it gets bit weird........she now wants to see MY poop.  "See poop Mommy!"  And there we are, having a moment, looking at my poop!!  Nobody high fives me during this moment, it's a bit of a let down.

I have shared way too much during this blog...........onto other things!

Counting.  How is it that children know when a parent turns to them and says, "I'm going to count to three" that if that parent actually gets to the number three they are in big trouble?  I mean seriously, how do they know this?  I've not seen it written in any of the books or stories I read to Jordan.  I haven't heard any of the other kids telling each other, "Oh man, my mom got to the number three the other night and it was not pretty, you better not let your mom get to the number three."  Yet somehow they just know.  And did we think we'd be using this tactic on our child at the age of 2?  Well we are.  It's mostly used around the diaper change/pajama time.  Jordan loves to tell us "no diaper" when we say it's time for a diaper change and she takes off running in another direction thinking that we'll never catch her.  Same thing when it's time for pajamas.  Then Mima starts counting, "One"......."Two"......."Three" and Jordan comes running into her arms to avoid whatever consequences 'three' might hold.

Snow.  Again, for those of you who really know me you know that snow is one of my most favorite things in the world!  I love snow, wish for snow and if I wore pajamas to bed I'd wear them inside out just like every kid on the planet which pretty much guarantees snow!  So we finally got snow this year!  And a good amount of it.  I could not wait to get Jordan out there in it.  I was under the impression that if I loved snow then Jordan would love snow too.  Isn't that how this parent thing works?  Our first time out was at night.  She stood perfectly still, not sure what to make of the white fluffy stuff falling from the sky.  We lasted 10 minutes out there.  The next time was during the day and there was a lot of snow on the ground.  I was convinced this was the day she would discover how amazing snow is.  We lasted 10 minutes.  She was not overly happy about not being able to move her arms (b/c she was all bundled up) and not very happy about not being able to grasp anything b/c she can't get her tiny little thumb into the thumb section of the mittens so she can't grasp anything.  And when she fell she could not get up.  The third time was late afternoon, nearly dark out.  I took her sledding w/her cousins Andrew & Christianna.  I was sure this would seal the deal!  We lasted 20 minutes.  We went down the hill 3 times and after the third time she told me "no more".  I was so bummed but of course could not give up.  So I start throwing questions at her:  "are you hungry?", she answered no.  "Do you want to go home?", she answered no.  "Do you want to go sledding again?", she answered no.  So like any mature parent I told Jordan, "I don't think you know what you mean" and I put the two of us back on the sled and down the hill we went!!!  

The Land of Jordan has turned into The Land of Presents!  The month of December is present month in our house:  birthday, Chanukah and Christmas.

Speaking of Chanukah, we lit the candles last night for the first night of Chanukah and Jordan immediately blew them out!  So we light them again and this time I am pulling the Menorah away from Jordan who is insisting on blowing the candles out b/c isn't that we do w/candles?  For the last 3 weeks, each time we've lit a candle it's been to sing happy birthday and have her blow the candle out so she's looking at us like, "Hello?  What's w/you people?  Candles, make a wish, blow them out, get a gift!"  And here I am trying to explain to a 2 year old the difference b/een Chanukah candles and birthday candles.

Happy Holidays to everyone!

"Jo-Jo" Turns Two!!!!!!!

For those of you not in the know, 'Jo-Jo' is the name Jordan goes by these days.  It's not ever Jordan's turn, it's always "Jo-Jo's turn."  It's not ever Jordan's house, it's always "Jo-Jo's house."  It's not ever Jordan's car, it's always "Jo-Jo's car."  In fact it's all Jo-Jo's now that I think about it.  Christina and I own nothing and have nothing according to Jo-Jo b/c it's all hers!  

Jo-Jo is officially a 2 year old!!!!  So far (and I'm sure I'm going to regret putting this in writting) the two's are not so terrible.  Of course we've only been in the two's for a very short amount of time...........and I can hear everyone right now saying, "ohhhh, just you wait.....it's coming!"  But so far we are doing okay here in yet another unfamiliar stage of Jo-Jo's life.  

The area we do seem to be having major issues in would be the pediatrician visits.  For some reason Jordan is absolutely terrified of her pediatrician right now.  She seems somewhat okay w/the nurses but man, once her doctor walks into the room Jordan starts climbing up my body, crying, saying "no" over and over again, and refusing to make eye contact in hopes that this little trick will make the doctor walk out of the room b/c if eye contact is not made then there's no way the doctor sees Jordan right?  So mommy comes up w/a plan!  I had to take Jordan to the doctor this past week (she has a nasty cold) and this time I brought w/us, as a surprise to Jordan, her pretend doctor's kit!!  As we were waiting for the doctor to come into the room I pulled out the kit and Jordan seemed totally psyched about it.  We talked about how we're going to look in the doctor's ears and the doctor's eyes and we're going to listen to the doctor's chest and take the doctor's temperature too!  We seemed to be doing great at this point.  That is until time starts slipping by and we're stuck in the room waiting, and waiting and waiting for the doctor to come in.  I've always had issues w/the waiting for anything in life and now that Jordan is w/me I have even bigger issues w/the waiting b/c I don't think people in the world who do not have children understand YOU CAN NOT KEEP US LOCKED IN A SMALL ROOM FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME!!!!  Things are bound to happen.  

What things?  Well, let's just say those cute little labels on the cotton ball jar that say 'PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH, FOR STAFF ONLY'......yeah, I just turned the jar around a bit so I didn't actually see the label anymore and Jordan and I had a cotton ball throwing contest.  And the jar filled w/those tongue depressers?  Turned that jar around too!  It's sort of like Jordan's eye contact theory:  if you don't see it then it's not there, right?  We used the tongue depressers to play baseball w/the cotton balls.

And suddenly the door to our very tiny room opens, in walks the pediatrician who is greeted by me wearing the pretend stethoscope, the pretend blood pressure cuff, the pretend band aid, the pretend thermometer hanging out of my mouth, cotton balls in my ears, cotton balls on my head, tongue depressers attached to my fingers w/some rubber bands I managed to find in the drawers............and then Jordan climbing up my body, crying, saying "no" over and over again and refusing to make eye contact!

We are now entering the 3 word sentence phase!!!  It's so cool and really fun to hear Jordan put together sentences that actually make sense!  The other night we had, "Where moon go?" when the moon could not be located from any window in our house.  One of my favorites is, "Mommy sit here."  That one is very cute, boarding on bossy.  Then we have the sentences that get a bit mixed up.  Lately Jordan has decided that brushing her teeth is just not a priority so she tells us, "Teeth brush no!" thinking that's going to get her out of it.

We are still into pointing out each and every school bus we see while we're in the car, but now we are actually waving and saying, "HI BUS" to each one and then, "BYE BUS" when it passes us.  This is also applied to each and every truck we see while in the car, "HI TRUCK" and then it passes us, "BYE TRUCK".  We now look beyond the road and have discovered the: "SIGNS!!!"  Which is quickly followed up with, "MORE SIGNS!!!"  Can't leave out "FLAGS!!!" also followed up with, "MORE FLAGS!!!"  Have you ever noticed that car dealerships have the ultimate biggest flags?  Why is that?

I've mentioned in the past how Jordan is very affectionate and that has not changed a bit, if anything she's even more affectionate these days.  Her new thing is wanting to hold my hand which is awesome, but, she is not asking to hold my hand while we are walking or sitting or playing.  Nope, it's while I'm driving!  "HAND, HOLD, MOMMY!"  So instead of saying, "Jordan mommy is driving right now and I can't hold your hand b/c well you see I'm in the front seat and you're in the back seat", I don't say anything at all.  Instead I lean my entire body over towards the center console, reach my arm back in the most uncomfortable position imaginable, allow her to grab hold of my hand and we continue driving in this position until one of two things happens:  1 - my arm losses all blood circulation and falls off........or 2 - I am pulled over by the police b/c it appears as if no one is driving my car b/c I'm so sprawled over the center console.

I realize now why people decorate the outside of their houses for the holidays and it has nothing to do w/religion!  It's to make car rides at night way more fun for 2 year olds!  Jordan loves, loves, loves the holiday lights on all the homes.  The more we see the more she wants!  Sometimes I feel as if I'm on a reality show being timed to see if I can find the next house that has holiday lights up.  "More lights, more lights, more lights" is what we hear if we are passing houses which are not lit up.  Your child somehow takes over your car and you find yourself zooming thru neighborhoods searching for lit up houses and under your breath cursing out the folks who own the houses w/no lights!

And speaking of holidays - hope everyone out there has a great one!  

That's all from THE LAND OF JORDAN............