Jo-Jo Tidbits........

The Land of Jordan has returned!  I'm not even sure why it ever took a break, but here we are again....together, enjoying the ride of Jo-Jo and her wonderful views on her little 4 1/2 year old life!

Let's catch up shall we?  Jordan is now 4 1/2.  She went thru her first year at Apple Montessori and loved it!  She's wicked smart and has no problem letting you know that she's right and you're wrong.  Just like the other day when she told me that mermaids were real.  I of course disagreed and was told in no uncertain terms that "Mom, mermaids ARE real, they just don't live in the ocean where I can stand, they live in the ocean where I can't stand and where you can't see them b/c they are all the way down on the bottom where you can't stand either Mom, so they are real!"  Well how can you argue w/that?

She is super funny and cracks me up constantly.  I love it when something gets her going to that belly laughing point and when she's done and has regained her composure she says, "Now THAT was hilarious!"

Currently she is attending camp at her school.  Camp ROCKS!  Every day there is a theme and every day I want to go to camp w/her.  Jordan seems to love camp but Mommy is not loving the laundry.  I send her to camp in one outfit, they go swimming and at some point after swimming they all get dressed again.  But why does my kid get dressed into the 'back-up outfit'?  It's the 'back-up outfit', it's not the 'in-case-you-wanted-options-outfit'.  It all equals LAUNDRY, and lots of it!

I have given up the getting dressed in the morning battle.  I let go of it awhile ago but now I'm letting go of the "those shoes so do NOT match" battle.  You want to wear your brown dress up shoes w/blue socks and turquoise shorts w/that green shirt?  Go right ahead!  In fact, I support you wearing that!  You go w/your bad self!!

We ended the winter w/ice skating lessons.  Moved right on into soccer and then as if that wasn't enough signed up for gymnastics oh and added a full season of ballet/tap classes.  That's all behind us now, camp is the main focus w/a Spanish class on Thursdays thrown in just to ensure exhaustion.

I won't keep you waiting any longer for the tidbits of Jo-Jo.  I have had a ton of these stored in my phone for a long time.......hope you enjoy them as much as I have:

 - "Mom, that car in front of us is silver and that means it's a girl driving b/c only girls drive silver cars b/c silver is a pretty color."

 - "I changed my mind Mom.  When I grow up I'm going to be a movie instructor and I'm going to make all the numbers (sequels) for Madagascar, like:  Madagascar 40, Madagascar 12, Madagascar 105."

 - "How about this Mom?  When I get married and I have a baby in my belly and it's going to be a boy...I can name him Max Sanders and I will be a beautiful married girl.  How about that Mom?"

 - When all that flooding happened around here, Jo-Jo was OBSESSED w/talking about it and needing to know if the people were okay and wanted to know where they would live and on and on.  So she says one day:  "I got an idea!  The flood houses, we can give them some mops and some paper towels to clean up their basements!  Is that a good idea?"

 - "Mom, when I grow up and I get married and there is a baby in my belly and then the baby come out, can I get one of those 2 (double) baby strollers?"  And I say, "Well you would have to have 2 babies to put in that double stroller Jo-Jo" to which she replies, "I know Mom. (w/the 'no-duh' tone)  I meant when I have 2 babies coming out of my belly."

 - Jordan was PISSED at me for quite awhile b/c I would not take her to Japan to find Ponyo.  Ponyo is her most favorite movie, about a fish who turns into a girl.  A really great movie but totally animated and totally NOT REAL.  Tried explaining the 'not real' thing to her but she just wasn't buying it and was really unhappy w/me for not just picking up and flying us to Japan to find this 'not real' fish/girl.  And then the earth quake happened in Japan.  So I explained to her that we could not go to Japan for a long time b/c of the earth quake and the destruction and all that.  Which lead us to a new obsession of Jo-Jo's.....earth quakes.  Ugh!  I was explaining the cracks in the earth, in the ground, etc and she says, "I think we need to call Pop-Pop on the phone right now!  He will know how the 'Japan people' get out of the holes in the ground that the earth quake made!"  For you see, Pop-Pop is our go-to guy!  If Jo-Jo ever made it onto 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire', Pop-Pop would be her 'PHONE A FRIEND' lifeline!

 -  A few days after the whole Japan thing Jordan comes screaming into the house:  "MOM!  MOM!  We had an earth quake!  There are cracks in our driveway!"  Damn, knew I should have had the driveway resealed sooner rather than later!

 - "I want to be an astronaut when I grow up.  I think in order for me to practice we should cut a hole in the ceiling so I can float up to space."  Of course I'm intrigued at this point.  "But Jo-Jo, I would miss you if you floated up to space w/out the proper training b/c you could get lost honey."  And the little wise woman says:  "Don't worry Mom.  I won't get lost b/c you have good eyes Mom so you could find me!  And Mom?  I won't have any time for TV shows b/c I'm gonna be very busy when I'm an astronaut!"

 - Before the school year ended 'we' went thru a little period of the super duper, mack daddy, NOT listening phase.  A rather non-enjoyable time in our lives.  But I always found it so interesting how the instant I would threaten (and I did it often cause it friggin worked) to tell Miss Ruchalski (Jordan's teacher) that she wasn't listening, how Jordan would freak out by the mere thought of her teacher knowing she was not being good and suddenly my kid was doing exactly what I had asked her to do 9,012 times earlier!  I found myself considering contacting Madame Tussaudes in NYC (wax museum) to have the wax version of Miss Ruchaslki made up for me b/c I knew that would be enough for my kid to listen!

 - Upon finishing reading bedtime books to Jo-Jo one night, I was feeling really sleepy and comfy in her bed so I closed my eyes thinking I would just sleep there for a tiny bit......until I heard that sweet little voice say:  "Okay Mom, you can go now."  Dismissed by my child!!!

 - "Mom?  Sometimes when I'm sad and I feel like crying, my body tells me it's happy and wants to laugh and be silly."  OMG, really?  I mean really?  Could this be ANY cuter?

 - "That girl, she had a boy voice, but she's really a girl b/c she was wearing a pretty dress w/a bow."

 - Discussing the Red Cross blood donation trucks (was one in her school's parking lot one day)....."If you give blood Mommy, will you have any blood left?"

 - Sometimes Pop-Pop falls a notch off our 'lifeline' list for answers b/c I'm now being told:  "Just Google it Mom."

 - "Why did dinosaurs die?  Did they fall into a volcano?"  (FYI:  volcanoes are the new obsession)  "Can I go in a volcano?  Is it hot?"  Jordan is soooooooooo obsessed w/volcanoes!  I have no idea why she finds them so interesting but she has latched onto this like you can not imagine.  In fact, I ordered her a kid book on volcanoes, which we have read over and over and over again.  We have Googled volcanoes, she made our good friends Amy & CA Google it too.  She knows what 'dormant' means.  She wants to know if there are any volcanoes in NJ.  She wants to know why we can't just look inside the volcano.  She wants to know if there is fire in all the volcanoes.  She wants to know if animals go inside of volcanoes.  She wants to know if people go into a volcano, how will they get out?  Are there stairs?  Or do they use a rope?  She wants to know if bugs go into volcanoes.  She wants to go to Spain to see a volcano.  She could not believe that 'our' Mexico where we stayed was the same Mexico where a volcano 'lived.'  She insisted there are 2 Mexicos.  When we 'play' together I always have to make sure I'm wearing my 'volcano scientist suit' so I can be safe and the lava can't hurt me.  I'm not kidding, this is a major obsession.  Volcanoes.  Ask me anything about them.  Chances are, I've got the answer so if YOU find yourself on 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire', I could be on YOUR lifeline!!!

 - Listening to Jo-Jo play 'mom & dad' w/her friend Abagail, so hilarious!  Jo-Jo decides she's the dad, so she walks in the room and says to Abagail:  "Sweetie!  I'm home from work.  We have to eat dinner now sweetie!"  (where did the sweetie come from??)  This continued for a long, long time.  Each time she said something to Abagail:  "Sweetie........."  So funny!

 - Our friend Amy used to work for the NY Liberty and in the past we'd take Jo-Jo to the games w/us.  So a few weeks ago Jo-Jo says, "Mom?  Can we go to the NY Liberty soon?  Because I think Amy's body is telling her that she wants to work there again.  Her whole body is telling her that Mom."

 - This one cracked me up:  "Mom, when you got married were you a bride?"  Now THAT was a good question.

 - "When I grow up can I marry you Mommy?"  As I melt away from mushy silly cute love!

 - "I don't want to be a rock star anymore when I grow up Mom.  I want to be a Halloween 'tricker'!  That's gonna be my job, a Halloween tricker!  Wanna do that w/me Mom?  You get to wear a different costume every day and go to people's houses and trick or treat and you get candy!  Lots and lots of candy!"

 - I said to Jordan the other day:  "Jo-Jo, my favorite part of the day is when I pick you up from camp."  And she said, "My favorite part of the day is when you play w/me Mommy."  And again.......melting away from the ridiculously soft sweet heart my little girl has!

 - And of course most of you will remember this little Jo-Jo tidbit from when I posted it on FB, still one of my fav's:  "Mom?  When Bubby & Pop-Pop adopted you, were in a cage w/lots of other babies and they picked you b/c you were so cute?"............"And Mom?  Did you come w/the name 'Stacey' and they didn't have to think real hard to make you a name?"

Consider yourself updated on The Land of Jordan.  A place where inquiring minds want to know the answers to hundreds of questions.  A place where I find myself knowing the answer to many of these questions and having an 'ah ha' moment b/c I realize I look wicked smart to my kid just like my Mom looked wicked smart to me!  A place where silly things happen on a daily basis.  A place where we listen to Katy Perry's "Last Friday Night" song and now Jordan always asks:  "What's a mini-bar?"  A place where some dude on the radio was talking and said, "smoking crack" and I cringed b/c I knew what was coming w/in 10 seconds and sure enough from the back seat I hear, "Smoking crack?  He just said smoking crack!  Mom, what's smoking crack?"  And even thou the smart mom in the front seat had the answer to the 'smoking crack' question.....she lied and went with:  "You know how that earth quake happened in Japan?  Cracks in the ground?  I think smoke was coming out of them, like 'smoking crack'......"  And THAT was a good enough answer!!

The Land of Jordan hopes you enjoyed yourself!  We will try to get another update out before 2012 comes along!

 - The Land of Jordan would like to thank Chris Nuzzo for taking those first 2 amazing pics!  You, Chris Nuzzo are a wonderful woman!

 - The Land of Jordan would also like to thank Maria Pennetta for getting on my case about slacking on the blog!  You too Maria Pennetta are a wonderful woman!

Back From Hiatus.....

holy crap, it has been forever since i've updated 'the land of jordan'.  my bad!  but here we are again, feeling witty and ready to share.  are you ready to listen?

THERE IS MUCH TO CATCH YOU ALL UP ON....jordan is now 4!   can you believe this?  i am the mother of a 4 year old!?!?  A very funny, clever little 4 year old.

so, rather than ramble on and on and lose your interest I will give you a few 'sound bites' (w/out the sound) from jordan over the past few months.  hope you enjoy:

1. -“MOM!  I FIGURED IT OUT!  WE CAN TAKE THE HOSE AND PUT THE WATER ALL OVER THE DRIVEWAY, AND THEN SLEEP FOR A REALLY GOOD LONG TIME, AND WHEN WE WAKE UP THERE WILL BE AN ICE RINK AND WE CAN ICE SKATE RIGHT HERE!”

1. -“GEORGE IS SLEEPING ‘SOFTLY’ MOM.....”  (INSTEAD OF SOUNDLY)

1. -“MOM? WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?  MIMA IS ALREADY ‘GROWED’ UP, BUT NOT YOU.  SO YOU HAVE TO BE SOMETHING WHEN YOU GROW UP, LIKE YOU HAVE TO BE EITHER A DENTIST OR A DOCTOR.  OKAY MOM?”  SHE WOULD NOT ACCEPT MY “I’M NEVER GROWING UP” ANSWER.

1. -WHILE PLAYING A MEMORY GAME W/ME AND SHE FOUND THE MATCHING CARD I ASKED HER HOW SHE KNEW THE MATCHING CARD WAS THERE:  “I LOOKED INSIDE MY BRAIN AND I FOUND THE MATCHING CARD!”

1. -AFTER A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP:  “I AM UN-TIRED NOW MOM.”

1. -SHE USES THIS LINE A LOT WHEN WE HAVE DISCUSSIONS:  “I WAS THINKING ABOUT THAT IN MY BED TODAY MOM, REALLY, I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT THE WHOLE TIME I WAS IN MY BED.”

1. -HER HANDS WERE COLD THE OTHER DAY:  “MY HANDS HAVE BRAIN FREEZE!”

1. -“MOM!  WHEN I GET BIG YOU CAN’T CALL ME ‘PEANUT’ OR ‘JO-JO’ ANYMORE B/C I AM GOING TO JUST BE ‘JORDAN’ MOM, AND ISN’T THAT AWESOME?”

1. -UPON SEEING A FULL MOON:  “THE MOON FOUND ALL IT’S PIECES!!!!!”

1. -OH, I FORGOT ABOUT THIS ONE, THIS HAPPENED RIGHT AFTER HALLOWEEN.  I WAS EXPLAINING TO JORDAN THAT ONE REASON WE PROBABLY DON’T GET A LOT OF TRICK-OR-TREATERS IS B/C WE LIVE ON A DEAD END STREET.  THE NEXT DAY SHE WANTS TO DISCUSS IT AGAIN:  “MOM, WE DIDN’T GET A LOT OF TRICK-OR-TREATERS B/C WE LIVE IN A DEAD PLACE, RIGHT MOM?”

1. -WAS USING HER FINGERS TO COUNT SOMETHING ONE DAY AND EXCLAIMED:  “I DON’T HAVE ANY MORE FINGERS SO I CAN’T COUNT ANY MORE.”

1. -HEARD AN ‘ANNIE LENNOX’ SONG ON THE RADIO AWHILE AGO, SHE LIKED IT AND DECIDED SHE’D REFERENCE IT TO ME A FEW DAYS LATER:  “CAN YOU PLEASE PLAY THAT ‘ANNIE LETTUCE’ SONG FOR ME?”  TOOK ME QUITE SOME TIME TO FIGURE OUT WHAT SHE MEANT, BUT I EVENTUALLY GOT IT!

1. -ONE NIGHT WE WERE DEVOURING PIZZA AND I MUST HAVE BEEN EATING PRETTY FAST B/C SHE STOPS EATING AND SAYS:  “MOM!  YOU HAVE TO CALM DOWN W/THE PIZZA AND SAVE SOME!”

1. -“MOM?  WHEN I LAUGH REALLY HARD I GET EYE TEARS”

1. -IF JORDAN WANTS ME TO MAKE UP A STORY RATHER THAN READ HER ONE SHE SAYS, “CAN YOU TELL ME A STORY FROM YOUR MOUTH, NOT FROM A BOOK?”

1. -“I’M GETTING SO MUCH BIGGER, I’M ALMOST A MOMMY TOO!”

1. -WE ARE TRYING TO TEACH JORDAN TO ASK, “CAN I BE EXCUSED” WHEN SHE’S DONE EATING.  SHE’S DOING PRETTY GOOD W/THE WHOLE THING, ONLY IT COMES OUT:  “CAN I BE CONFUSED?”

1. -WHAT I’M ABOUT TO WRITE ISN’T SOMETHING THAT JORDAN SAID, IT’S SOMETHING THAT JORDAN DID.  I SHOULD LET YOU ALL KNOW (MOST OF YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS) THAT I DO NOT COOK, DON’T WANT TO, DON’T CARE TO, NO INTEREST, ZERO, NADA!  LITERALLY THE ONLY THING I CAN DO IS TOAST, TEA AND WARM SHIT UP.  JORDAN ON THE OTHER HAND IS CONSTANTLY ‘COOKING’ W/MIMA WHICH IS SUPER GREAT AND REALLY CUTE.  AND OF COURSE MIMA IS CONSTANTLY COOKING.  SO, MIMA WAS AWAY ON BUSINESS AND JORDAN DECIDES SHE WANTS SCRAMBLED EGGS FOR BREAKFAST.  I OF COURSE ATTEMPT TO SWAY HER TOWARDS WAFFLES (FROZEN OF COURSE) WHICH DOES NOT WORK.  THE KID WANTS SCRAMBLED EGGS AND THAT’S THAT!  I’M A TINY BIT PANICKED B/C YES, AS SAD AS IT IS TO ADMIT, I HAVE NO CLUE HOW TO MAKE SCRAMBLED EGGS.  SO AGAIN I TRY AND PERSUADE MY CHILD TO THE FROZEN BREAKFAST OPTIONS AND AGAIN SHE INSISTS ON SCRAMBLED EGGS.  AND HERE’S WHERE MOMMY GETS HER HONEST ON:  “JO-JO, I KNOW YOU’RE GONNA FIND THIS HARD TO BELIEVE BUT MOMMY DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE SCRAMBLED EGGS......” I WAS TOTALLY EXPECTING HER TO MELT DOWN DEMANDING THE DAMN EGGS.  INSTEAD THIS IS WHAT I GOT:  “THAT’S OKAY MOM B/C I KNOW HOW TO MAKE SCRAMBLED EGGS AND I WILL TEACH YOU!  YOU HAVE TO GET THE EGGS & BUTTER MOM.  BUT I GET TO CRACK THE EGGS OKAY?”  AND WOULDN’T YOU FRIGGIN KNOW IT?  MY KID TAUGHT ME HOW TO MAKE SCRAMBLED EGGS!  SHE SAT ON THE COUNTER AND WALKED ME THRU THE WHOLE THING.  AND THEN, OH THIS WAS THE BEST PART......WHEN THE EGGS WERE ALL SCRAMBLED AND ON HER PLATE SHE SAYS TO ME:  “GOOD JOB MOMMY, I’M VERY PROUD OF YOU!”  SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  FYI:  WE HAVE HAD SCRAMBLED EGGS ABOUT 9,014 TIMES SINCE MY DAUGHTER’S IN-SERVICE!  I CAN’T STOP MAKING THEM!!!

Seems like a good note to end on.  hope you're all enjoying your winter filled w/snow & ice, school closings, school delayed openings, high heating bills, endless sick germs & maybe a few hot chocolates thrown in there just to make you smile.